First, Fear is Natural to us Human, it is wired to our brain, One of the benefits of being scared is it kept us safe and alive. It ‘s a negative feeling running to our chest and stays in our heads. Sometimes fear makes the decision for us. And that decision can either have a positive or negative output. And eventually, that can change and influence the course of our entire life, true?
When was the last time you felt being scared?
During the first few months and years of my recovery, I was afraid to cross the street because cars were speeding up and I was trying to cross assisted by my cane, before taking my first step to cross the main street I had this fear of getting hit and be killed. But I told myself that I can make it and walk as if everything is normal only except with my cane. Some car drivers are sometimes kind enough to stop and let you cross and there were some selfish and jerk drivers. You know what I mean.
As a Stroke Survivor, I’m also sharing the same experiences, I had during my Stroke. What you are reading on this blog is a first-hand experience.
. Before I was afraid to drive, had a fear of applying for jobs, worrying I might be rejected.Fear of walking outside the house. I think, what scares me most is the fear of being alone.It was veey uncomfortable the first time I did it, but when I crossed the street the first time, it was the most fulfilling moment, priceless.
I did that on a daily basis until I felt comfortable doing it .I tried challenging myself and I succeed but I had to take some risks.
My wife has been with me supporting me with all her patience and love, unconditionally for the past 10 years.
Sorry, but I am not here to discuss fear but how I started building my own courage and made myself of what I am today.
Building my own courage did not happen overnight but a series of multiple failed attempts.
I know that each of us has our own personalities and willingness to try and patience to endure
So how did I build my courage? What was my approach?
We won’t be forever sitting on our chair, depending on our walker to walk around.Caregivers ,might stop caring for us. It saddens me most of the time that some of the stroke survivors I know are being left by their partners.I dont know why? Out of patience, maybe?
That is scary….. At least for me.
How about you?
Now, these scenarios made me realize that they are not going to be around forever. I dont want to be on that situation and that triggered me to act and decide, quickly. You still have enough time to think and decide for yourself.
We need to be independent. You might be reading this post because you survived (just like me). Anything is possible if you have the right mindset and right attitude.
First, you have to believe in yourself that you can do it. Believing in your self can change your life and nothing will happen if you don’t want to take some actions. You have to get on your feet. don’t waste any seconds, and it will make a difference. Sure it’s frustrating, I know how it feels
We didn’t wish to be in this situation and if you think you don’t deserve where you are right now, I felt that too 10 years ago. I also thought that not deserve to be treated differently.
I spent hours of my time every day, alone. Talking to myself.
My mind said I need to restart myself and start believing that I can do it, I am not a quitter. I was not given a second chance to live like this.
I said I need to do something, It has to start from me.
No time for excuses, no more complaining. I just need to accept it happened to me
We must not be defeated. If we stop trying then it’s like we have accepted that we will be like this forever.
I want to make a change. I want to feel different, I want people to see that I am strong, that whatever just happened to me is temporary. We need to keep moving forward
I remember these lines from one of my favorite movies. I am sharing it with you.
“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!” -Rocky Balboa
if you stopped trying and start making excuses then you started losing your chances of improving your life.
“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” – Brad Henry
We might have failed this time, but it is not the end. It’s just a setback
Believing in yourself goes hand in hand with self-confidence. To start building self-confidence is you have to start interacting with people, you have to surround yourself with people who are positive and people who trust you.
These are your friends and family and your yourself.
Start improving yourself on what you think is necessary to make you feel better. everyday. you have to ser your goals, you need to focus. If you think you need to learn to walk again. you need to focus on that, slowly. Step by Step, one at a time. Nothing happens overnight. You have to keep trying, no matter how slow.
One hour a day, imagine what changes and improvement you can make 365 hours in one year?
For me, during my recovery, what concerns me the most was to improve my speech. I want to control my speech, I want people to understand me as 90% of my previous job requires talking. And as part of the job, I had to read books, magazines, newspapers, etc. And read each word aloud. I engaged myself talking to my wife and my 2-year-old daughter. I had to do it on a daily basis. at least an hour a day.After a few months and years of doing it. Now I am back to Normal. I am confident that I am back to normal.
What transformed me to what I am now was, I accepted the situation that I had a stroke, that I had those disabilities but I did not accept that I will be on that situation forever.
Never doubt yourself and do not hesitate. if you failed the first time do it again. We will improve, it could be difficult but keep on trying. Give yourself a chance to learn and improve
You could be breaking pieces of glasses and plates. you might be struggling in holding those because your hand is shaking but it takes some practice. you could fall on your feet when you first try to stand but that’s alright. Remember, that there is always a risk. Don’t be afraid of risk, its all part of the big reward you are expecting to happen. because you have a goal.
Have faith in yourself. Sometimes you have to push yourself to the limit. Train yourself, if you were used to brushing your teeth using your left hand. train the other hand, the same thing goes in writing. Stretch yourself.
We may look weak outside but inside we are stronger.
We are sometimes motivated when we hear and see people succeed. and they have made some improvement in their present situation.
I am personally motivated by fear, I am being moved by my emotion. I am scared of what might happen to me if I procrastinate and do not do anything to make some changes. I think I ‘d still be crippled if I didn’t decide and take some actions. I think my wife could have left me if I didn’t do anything. I think I would be jobless if I didn’t motivate myself.
I am motivated to take some actions because of the possible consequences that are waiting for me.
I was scared because I don’t want to be worthless, I know that I am still capable of doing things.
Some people told me to stay at home and let my wife take care of everything. I said “NO!”, my wife couldn’t take care of everything, the bills, the food. the rental, fuel, my medication, and other related hospital bills, etc. But that’s not me, I am still alive, so there’s hope because I am still alive.
No matter how frustrated I was, I always had to look on the other side. I need to be positive. I need to help myself. No one else will but me.
That’s how I motivated myself. I take action. What about you?
You see some people are very good at planning but do not take any actions. Some people are afraid to try. Yes, we didn’t wish for this, I know its difficult, it’s frustrating, it emotionally drains you.
You better decide now.
I am done waiting for the right time, the right time is NOW! You do not have to wait for the right timing. It’s going to be a waste of your time waiting. What’s stopping you?
You and yourself only could answer why you are not taking any actions and decisions. Motivation starts with you. What’s Lacking? Call me crazy but whenever I was alone I talked to myself in front of the mirror.
Set your goal, set a deadline.
Never doubt yourself.
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
Are you a Quitter? Lets’ talk about success.
Know your Purpose.